Sitting with Naomi

Twenty months into this crossing, and I am astonished at how time is moving at lighting speed. So much has happened in this second year, and I honestly can't believe that Tod hasn't been here for any of it. As I continue to venture into life solo here, missing Tod is constant. Simply put, it’s hard, there is a vulnerability and humility wrapped up within widowhood’s very nature that is undeniable. Yet I find within these circumstances, the Lord powerfully present and preciously intimate working His grace into every detail, right in the thick of things with me, and I know I am not alone and hope is abundant!  

In His perfect wisdom, God has walked me into the depths of His word sitting me down to watch and ponder His sovereignty over the lives of women who trekked widowhood long ago. The Bible is brilliant at pulling back the curtain to reveal these widows in the throes of their sorrow and grief, it is heavy and painful. Yet the tender mercy God pours over them is breathtaking and life giving. He is working a plan as He guides them through it all, and these women don’t simply survive, they thrive under His care!

As I have sat and studied, the lives of Naomi and Ruth have simply captured my heart.  I owe Naomi a sincere apology, for I didn’t take much notice of her before, Ruth has always caught my gaze and awe. I had sort of brushed Naomi aside as a pitiful old lady, but now I simply can’t take my eyes off of her!  Watching their individual journeys into widowhood is overwhelmingly painful, but their journey into God's redemption together is remarkably beautiful.

If you are unfamiliar with their story, for brevity's sake, here is chapter one. Naomi’s family of four, husband and two sons, journey from their home in Bethlehem to a foreign land to survive a famine. Tragedy strikes and Naomi’s husband dies, and the trauma of her widowhood sets in. Life continues there, and Naomi’s sons marry women in that foreign land. Widowed in this time period meant you relied on your sons for the covering of care and provision. Fortunately, for Naomi, she had two sons. Yet 10 years later, death hits again taking not one but both of her sons. 

We aren't given the detail of their individual deaths, whether illness, accident, or sinister intent had taken them. Regardless of how it occurred, Naomi’s loss was utterly devastating. There was no covering for her now, but her two daughter-in-laws could return to the covering of their families for comfort, support, and care. They could each build new lives. For Naomi, though, starting over was not an option. Age and time was working against her, and she was now exposed and vulnerable. Gone was physical and financial protection, emotional and loving companionship. Robbed of so many hopes, in particular, grandchildren and great grandchildren, her family’s name was now extinct.

It must have felt as though life had crushed her very soul, every breath hard, joy and hope pressed out. It is probably safe to assume she would have welcomed death as an end to her anguish for Naomi’s grief was tremendous, almost unspeakable. Yet within this gut-wrenching space, God, He was there.   

Already active and weaving His grace into each moment for Naomi, His love begins to pour out through the tender love of her daughter-in-law, Ruth. This young woman, a widow now herself grieving her own loss, simply won’t leave Naomi. Regardless of Naomi’s begging and pleading with Ruth to return to her own family, begin a new life, and have a family of her own, Ruth won’t go.

    “Do not urge me to leave you or turn back from following you;

     for where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge.

     Your people be my people, and your God, my God.

    Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. Thus may the Lord

     Do to me, and worse, if anything but death parts you and me.” Ruth 1:16

Ruth's choice was courageous, for she was choosing the unknown to serve Naomi. To care for this grieving woman regardless of the cost, with singleness and poverty highly likely, no doubt, the pity and periphery of society, yet this was where she set her heart. Her devotion to Naomi is stunning. No blood could have been thicker or love more devoted. She is more than a daughter to Naomi now, she has become God’s providential covering through whom God’s care is poured out to Naomi. But Naomi can’t see it yet, she is caught up in the painful feelings and thoughts of grief and growing resentment, for this wasn't the plan she had for her life or the lives of those she dearly loved. When she and Ruth arrive back in Bethlehem, Naomi reveals her heart,

 "Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. I went out full, but the Lord has brought me back empty.” Ruth 1:20-21. 

Naomi’s is caught in the painful circumstances of her life, she can no longer bear the sound of her own name which meant pleasantness and delight, rather she changes her name to Mara, or bitter. This is an enlightening moment in Scripture, for God puts a mirror up to the nature of the human heart, my heart, our hearts. When disease, destruction, and death hit hard, and we are faced with the frailty of our lives or those we hold dear, we all desire the "delightful and pleasant" outcome. We want “Naomi” written across our lives not “Mara,” and when we don't get our "Naomi," bitterness and resentment toward God can easily set in.

But God is faithful, and He willingly receives Naomi's accusatory slant on His goodness and sovereignty. Graciously He continues working the plans that she cannot see, for God’s healing love is relentless in nature and He has faithfully been pouring it out before, during, and after her wounding. Chapter one concludes with their arrival back in Bethlehem.  So much journey to be shared and neither Naomi nor Ruth know what God has in store.

I hope you can see why I love these women, and the God who loves them. Watching the brilliant interplay between them, their broken hearts, and the redemptive love of God so powerfully encourages my own heart to trust Him with it all. Loss and grief are inherent to each one of us, you don't have to be a widow or lose a loved one to know the depths of pain and the curse of sin. 

But God's promise to us is Himself, our Redeemer. His name is Jesus and He is our covering. Whether I feel it or not, He covers me every second of every moment. Me and my children are in His care, and He calls me to lift my eyes from the shadows of this earth and see Him, truly behold Him, actively look for Him, for His love and wisdom are faithfully pouring forth to me, as He did for Naomi and Ruth. 

Trusting His redemptive sovereignty to be far greater than any wounding this world can inflict internally or externally, brings powerful hope into every situation. For His ways are not my own and when I can't make heads or tails of it, I must choose to stand solidly upon His truth. Ultimately, He is working His redemptive plans here and now, always for good and always for the renowned of His name. He is building His kingdom out with the desolate, the marginalized, the weak, the vulnerable, and the broken. His strength empowers the weak to become strong, the survivor to thrive, and the impossible to be accomplished.  I don't have to know or understand "the why" or "the how," I just need to remember WHO HE IS. This is where my heart anchors in and trust for this God of Naomi and Ruth is my GOD too.

For your husband is your Maker, Whose name is the Lord of hosts; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel, Who is called the God of all the earth.” Isaiah 54:5