An Unassuming Envelope

“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17

Over a month ago, I got a letter in the mail.  I noticed it was from the transplant center that had handled the gifting of Tod’s organs. It was an unassuming envelope, and as I opened it up and read the cover letter, to my surprise, beneath it, I found a personal letter addressed to, “Dear Donor Family.”  My heart felt a sense of surprise and unease as I realized this was a letter from one of Tod’s organ recipients.

Honestly, over the last 8 months it hasn’t been on my radar, that I might actually hear from any of the organ recipients, even though I knew it was a possibility. I’ve thought about them and prayed and hoped for health and healing over each one, but my more consistent awareness has simply been figuring out my life, life with my Savior, life with my children and our family, and what these days look like now without Tod as a daily part of them. It just hadn’t really pressed into my thought or wonder, but as I realized what my eyes were taking in, I couldn’t help but be completely captivated. 

As I read on though, I stopped in a moment of panic, trying to decide if I was ready for this.  In my head, a slew of questions hit, “Is this the way this is suppose to happen? Standing in my kitchen? Just reading this like it’s a normal letter in the mail? Is my heart ready for this now?” Then looking back at this inconspicuous yet extraordinary letter in my hand, my desire could no longer be contained to any type of protocol, and I “ripped off the band-aid” of what had been a pretty stable emotional day for me and jumped head long into the raw new space of Tod’s life now, and our family’s journey along with him and God, altogether, unfolding in unforeseen ways, freely flowing with tears, unhindered emotions, and unexpected letters in the mail.

As I read the letter, simultaneously my memory traveled back to the hospital this past December, and the 48 hours in which the transplant team had to match Tod’s organs after the doctor had declared him brain dead. These were long painstaking hours at the hospital now with the constant sound of Tod’s breathing machine, and his body being kept at exacting temperatures and levels by the team to ensure healthy organs for transplant. It was honestly an excruciatingly painful time for me and our family as the wait began, but Tod’s parents and brother were so lovingly committed to never leaving his side, and they vigilantly watched over him, prayerfully and tearfully throughout that 48 hours, giving me the gift of being able to be home much of that time with our beautiful children and my precious sister who had not left my side as we all began to grieve.

The team ran into some difficulty with matching Tod’s lungs due to his athletic conditioning over the years that had made them larger than normal. But “just in the nick of time”, God faithfully revealed the match and Tod’s surgery was scheduled with all the different doctor teams flying in from all over then turning immediately around and flying back home to bring to their patients a specific gift of life, new heart, new lungs, new kidney, new liver.

As Tod’s surgery time came and our family said their last painful goodbyes, our family walked along side of the gurney that was carrying Tod as the transplant team wheeled him down the hospital halls to the operating room. The anesthesiologist who was apart of the team was so completely aware and in tune with my broken heart that he paused the team three different times in our journey, directing them to stop the gurney just so I could kiss my Tod, then once more, and then one last time, after which they took Tod through the double doors of the operating room, and he disappeared from sight on Christmas Eve night.

But while our journey of loss and grief was at its’ beginning during those days, this letter now invited me into another story that had been unfolding on that same day for a different family who had been walking through their own journey of pain and loss, yet in a different way, and Tod’s offering was now intertwining our lives together. So as I read on wiping the tears from my eyes again and again, I learned about the journey of this precious person’s suffering with a disease that had brought along with it the loss of health and ability, as well as, the incurable nature nothing short of a transplant could heal.

For on that same Christmas Eve, their family got a phone call from their doctor, and his message was filled with hope and joy that transformed that moment for them. Life itself was being offered as a perfect match had been found and the transplant was ready to go. The order was given to head to the hospital for surgery early the next day, and this transplant brought with it new life and new hope that following morning, Christmas morning.

As the writer of the letter shared about their personal recovery process over the last many months, the long surgery, the rehab, the process of healing and restoration that was brilliantly ahead of schedule, I couldn’t help but feel their deep gratitude that was quite astonishing in nature, humble and abundant as it was expressed over and over again.  Their deep reverence for the offering they had received was so tangible, and it was clear that they understood the intensity of the event that had to occur for the hope of life to be offered to them.

As I put the letter down, nothing short of a deep abundant joy began to well up within my soul, and the most powerful embrace of gratitude grabbed hold of me, for my Savior faithfully began to reveal His glorious love in that moment for me, for Tod, and for that precious person who had personally written every cherished line of that letter. As I have and continue to reflect and ponder this letter over the last few weeks, I have come to see in its’ very core the foreshadowing of the profound and pursuing love story God writes across our lives.

It is the simple narrative of a person in desperate need of healing, with no ability to will or accomplish it for themselves, but rather needing the right person to step forward with the matched cure. The day Tod chose to become an organ donor was one day that he had stepped forward. A very simple yet profound choice he made years before, one that honestly, Tod didn’t know he would ever have to fulfill, but if need be, he was willing. Tod's willful offering gave this person the possibility of a new and healthy life, unhindered by the constraints of the disease that brought so much pain and eventual death. While willfully becoming a donor was a choice on Tod's part, it was truly nothing short of God’s expressed love to those who would one day become the recipients of new healthy organs.

As I continue to live on this side of last Christmas Eve, the truth of this love story compels and resonates deeply within me, for it is my story too. I needed a Savior, someone to step up and do for me what I could not do for myself. For my condition was one of a sinfully sick heart, deceitfully selfish and painfully wicked. I needed someone to step forward and give the perfect match for me so that I may have new life, and someone did. God sent His Son, Jesus Christ, the perfect donor, holy in nature and character, and He offered me a new life unhindered by the constraints of sin so that I may not perish. His sacrificial offering is the epitome of the most holy and compelling love story my soul or any soul will ever encounter on this earth.

Yet this love story is far from over for His offering never runs out. It continues to be written upon soul after soul as He continues to call out to a sinfully sick world that He has exactly what we are in desperate need of, the perfect offering filled with hope and healing. His desire is for all to believe and be healed. The offering of Jesus upon the cross was His sacrifice for us, and the dynamic resurrection of Jesus from the dead confirms His power to save us. His mighty salvation holds within its' very nature new life as His child, new ways of living as His disciple, and new ways of serving as His citizen in this world, all empowered by His Holy Spirit who promises never to leave us.

While Tod’s offering was received and I'm sure cherished by the recipients, hopefully it has brought the physical healing they desperately needed, I hope for many years, but, at some point, physical health will fail again and physical death will come. But the life Jesus Christ willingly offers to all is immensely so much more, for His offering affords us His holiness, His righteousness, His strength and power, and the very nature of eternity with Him. His offering will never fail though death will take the physical body, but one day resurrected and alive as He is, a new body free of sin and disease will be given. This is my prayer and hope for the ones who have a bit of Tod within them now, that before those bits of Tod begin to fail, they may have the fullness of Jesus Christ within them for He will never fail them, for He is true healing.

This extraordinary gift of new life from and in Jesus Christ ensures a glorious belonging to Him, to His ways, and to His kingdom, as He is about the diligent work of transforming, redeeming, and restoring our very being and every circumstance we encounter. As I reckon with the giving of His life on my behalf, His abundant love on display, waves of gratitude, joy, and hope well up and wash over my heart humbling me in His presence. My soul finds its' strength and healing anchored forever and ever within the depths of His glorious and unfathomable love.

“By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him.”  1 John 4:9